Today what I want to talk about is a problem that I have been facing for about the last year, to year and a half. I have become married to fitness, in such a way that it has nearly excluded all other options for a relationship, and even some friendships. I always Joke and say that “My boyfriends’ name is Gym” which is true, Gym was even my valentine. Never in a million years did I think that living a healthy lifestyle would be the cause of a long-term friendship dying. I think that knowing how this is going to affect your experience is the best way to educate and prepare yourself.
Finding a middle ground
First of all, finding a common ground is quite the experience, even with your friends. If you are into fitness and most of your friends are not, it’s not your friends’ job to change their life because you found a new hobby. That doesn’t mean you need to dump your old friends either.
When it comes to dating, if you are REALLY serious about making fitness a lifestyle, I think the best thing you can do is find someone with the same passion as you. PLEASE for the love of all that is holy, do not. I REPEAT DO NOT date someone from your gym. Unless you know them outside of the gym. Just trust me on this one. Things get awkward, VERY fast. Try using fitness dating sites. According to www.no1reviews.com the number one fitness dating site is www.fitness–singles.com . Don’t be shy and go take a look around! If online dating isn’t your thing, try joining one or more of the hundreds of events geared towards fitness in your area.
If you’re friends are trying to make you feel bad about expressing how happy you are, chances are, they are not very good friends. Keep in mind that this will set the tone for every piece of progress that you have. If they don’t care that you are happy, but they are perfectly fine to talk about getting blasted every weekend, it’s best to distance yourself a bit. Especially why you are making fitness a habit, not a chore.
Figuring out what to do:
The first thing that someone suggests when taking you on a date, is dinner. The absolute worst meal to get lazy on, is dinner. It’s best to eat clean all the time, but I do one cheat day a week, usually Fridays. Which is exactly what I say, it just seems no one wants to eat at a healthy restaurant or wait until next week. Even though it feels like dating is out to get you and make you fall off the fitness wagon, you need to remind yourself that you are doing this for you. You can lie all you want to everyone else, but you are the only person who needs to be happy in your skin. Another reminder I can’t say enough is: It is okay to love your body and still want to change it.
What you can do:
When someone asks you out for a drink, suggest something a little more geared toward the middle ground. A place where you can eat clean, and he/she can eat whatever they want. Think a picnic, or even dinner at your place if you are comfortable enough with them.
Keeping up with your gym routine
I personally, go to the gym at almost exactly the same time, every day, except rest day on Sundays. If your new beau or belle is trying to pull you away from the gym. It’s best to establish how important it is being at the gym and maintaining your routine. Make you sure express that it’s not that they are not important to you, it’s just that the fitness is your passion and that you need and WANT to maintain it.
You still need to make time for your budding relationship. However, you also can’t sacrifice the thing that makes you happy, if that person is not willing to understand your passion now, he or she probably won’t understand it later either. Communication is always key.
Feeling held back/ Being discouraged.
A relationship can be a source of mutual love and support, but if you are feeling worse with your significant other than you were without, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. No one should ever be allowed to make you feel bad for investing in yourself. If fitness is your passion, then the only way to fulfill that passion is to live it. If your significant other is holding you back from trying to venture out, you need to be open and honest about how you feel. I’m training for the tough mudder, and if I was told by someone I’m dating that I couldn’t do it, I would probably get my things and get the hell out of dodge faster than you can say burpee pull-ups.
Reminder: You still need to consider if your significant other is feeling neglected, if you can’t dedicate enough time to him or her, then you should probably reconsider your ability to be in a relationship.