The 7 Dance Moves Of A Drunk White Girl

Thought Catalog

As a certified White Girl whose free time — as in, when I am not doing my charity work and hanging out with my close personal friend Stephen Hawking to help him work on his theorems — includes the occasional drunk Ke$ha dance session, I would like to take you through a few of our most coveted dance moves as a group. Follow me on this mystical journey through all things vodka cranberry, too-tight Forever 21 dresses, and miming our way over the N-word in our favorite rap song. It will be greater than your wildest dreams.

1. The “This is my song!!!”

I’m not saying it’s a Miley Cyrus song, but it’s probably a Miley Cyrus song. (Or nearly anything by The Backstreet Boys). In any case, the opening notes of “Party In the U.S.A.” come on, and it’s as though White Girl just stuck a fork into an…

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